Perspective

Isn't it amazing how we see things.....

If we are single, we see only couples around us.  If we are longing to have children, we notice every baby around us.  If our adult kids are distant, we see every mother/daughter shopping and laughing every where we go.  It is hard to remember that how we perceive these images is totally biased by our thoughts and feelings.

“Recovery is about more than walking away. Sometimes it means learning to stay and deal. It’s about building and maintaining relationships that work. – Melody Beattie

This is your life...

This was shared on Plurk and wanted to share it here.  I don't know where it came from...But, the message is meant to be shared.

Time doesn't heal all wounds

Love crosses every boundary,  even over the brick walls that people construct to keep loved ones out. 
But, when substance abuse is involved,  then that becomes their first love.  A week does not go by without at least one disastrous story that ends in tragedy.  From a boy that values his family so little that he killed his parents so he can party in their home, to a singer that was proud to state that she would end up dead in a ditch on fire.  These people surrounds themselves with friends that do not set any limits for themselves or their friends that they claim to care about.  No one is surprised by the outcome and then the crowd moves on to the next "IT" person until they expire. What low expectations these individuals placed upon themselves.  Life is hard and we need to pull together, not apart. I am truly sad for the loved ones that tried to stay involved in that persons life only to be pushed away, verbally abused and ignored.

The old saying that only happens in bad families...I am afraid that it has crossed into loving & good families too.  I was reading that the baby boomer generation will be the first generation in history that will be alone when they are very old.  The entitled generation is walking away from families in alarming numbers.  Families are give and take, they show up and give you a nudge or soft boot when you need it.  In turn, you do what you can for them too.  Do your children's friends keep close contact with their families and encourage yours to distance yourself from their  family?  I had a friend in JR High that did that and eventually I grew up a little and saw what she was trying to do. 

If you were neglected or unloved for even a second... I would understand estrangement...but, why silence???  Toxic relationships are not being told no or sorry we don't have the money right now.  There are parents that are in a drunken stooper, no food or clean clothes and even more that I don't want to think of  children being subjected to.  I know this is hard for people that do not have this disconnected relationship to understand.  It is torture for the person experiencing it.  Why don't you try?  What happened?  These are the logical questions by well meaning people, but unfortunately the answers are only known with the person that refuses to talk or listen. From what I have read in the estrangement forums...it appears to be a power issue.

If you have estrangement in your life, I thought I would pass some helpful links on, if anyone is searching for.... WHY?  I have seen a few articles that suggest "making a new family",  what happens when that family is imperfect?  Dump them and find new people?   I do not believe the solution is running away or ignoring anyone that crosses you.  A great blog to visit:  estrangedfamilies (Wordpress) , this blog has so many great, inspiring posts for Parents, Adult Children and Grandparents. Scroll down the page and find a post that is relevent to your needs and there is a link on the left hand side for older posts too.  Another site for Adult Parents is estrangedparentsofadultchildren.com This tab is "Stages" estrangedparentsofadultchildren.com/Site/Stages and Resources: estrangedparentsofadultchildren.com/Site/Resources

I hope you find the inner peace that you seek and hope that this post will help you heal and let go.

Mothers and Daughters...

I am not really into "Reality Shows", but...I have been watching the Judds on OWN channel. They have a Therapist that travels with them on the road.  I hope it all works out for them and they get to the heart of it.  A few generations ago, very few people looked at their parents with all this resentment, they grew up and realized that their parents did the best they could. Every family has negative and positive. It is the hardest thing you will ever do and even when you read all the books, you are never prepared for everything.

The Mother/Daughter relationship is a very complex one. Perhaps if we looked at each other with the same understanding as we would give a friend... We could see things through their eyes and let them into our world too.  In this new tech world...more is not more.  Is quality time is a thing of the past?  Really getting to know your family.  Caring enough to put pride aside to listen to one another.  You cannot really know anyone by reading their blog, you are only an observer with your nose pressed up to the glass watching them and it is the emptiest feeling to know you are on the outside looking in.  We all think that it is up to the other person to be what we need, when we need it.  It can be sort of a stand off and no one wins. 

A Letter from Mom and Dad

I saw this posted on facebook today and I wanted to add it here as well.

Something I made for my daughter.....

A little hard to photograph...It looks kinda messy in the photo...Prettier in person.
I made this for my daughter's birthday on the 23rd.  It is so hard to believe that she is turning 30!  I wish I could be there..I am in spirit and in my heart!

Happy Birthday

I have been honored TWICE this week...

Thank you,
frugallyretro
The desert sky

While I was dropping EntreCards this morning and reading the latest posts, I made a list of 14 blogs....One Set for each award this week.

It was really hard to narrow down a list....
I chose a mixed bag of blogs that feature
Home, History and Handmade EntreEtsians:

http://gardengnomeathome.blogspot.com/

http://www.littlehouseinthesuburbs.com/

http://georgiafarmwoman.blogspot.com/

http://thevirtualdimemuseum.blogspot.com/

http://questionablehistory.blogspot.com/

http://victoriantimes.blogspot.com/

http://inspiredbyhand.blogspot.com/

http://indiesistas.blogspot.com/

http://sahmilitarywife.blogspot.com/

http://www.studiojewel.blogspot.com/

http://www.thyme2dream.blogspot.com/

http://battlemaidenart.blogspot.com/

http://twentypoundtabby.blogspot.com/

http://solsisters.blogspot.com/

If you are one of the recipients and you want to participate, here are the instructions:

1. A winner can put the logo on his/her blog.
2. Link to the person from whom you received the award.
3. Nominate up to 7 other blogs.
4. Put links to the nominated blogs on your blog.
5. Leave a message on the nominated blogs.

Thank you to all of the people that are my Ad Sponsors, drop by readers, EC droppers and those who leave comment here....
I "Love" each of you and wish I could award everyone that keeps my blog going!

Kathy

Lend Me a Pup

Lend Me a Pup

I will lend to you for a while

a puppy, God said,

For you to love him while he lives

and to mourn for him when he is gone.

Maybe for twelve or fourteen years,

or maybe for two or three.

But will you, till I call him back

take care of him for me ?

He'll bring his charms to gladden you

and (should his stay be brief)

you'll always have his memories

as solace for your grief .

I cannot promise that he will stay,

since all from earth return,

But there are lessons taught below

I want this pup to learn.

I've looked the whole world over

in search of teachers true

And from the folk that crowd life's land

I have chosen you.

Now will you give him all your love

Nor think the labour vain

Nor hate me when I come to take my pup back again.

I fancied that I heard them say

"Dear Lord Thy Will Be Done,

"For all the joys this pup will bring,

the risk of grief you'll run.

Will you shelter him with tenderness

Will you love him while you may

And for the happiness you'll know forever grateful stay.

But should I call him back

much sooner than you've planned

Please brave the bitter grief that comes

and try to understand.

If, by your love, you've managed

my wishes to achieve,

In memory of him that you've loved,

cherish every moment with your faithful bundle,

and know he loved you too.

- Author Unknown